Kieran..

..grateful for this man and this experience. beautiful story - meeting at a champagne party, royal invitations, roses, hot sex.
but an inspiration void.
not one single diary entry.
this is how solid this man was in my life.
and - i feel very cruel stating these words - how insignificant.

my soul knew. my soul was sending me SOS signals through panic attacks - not one, not two..
my soul was scared to end up with a man who is not matching my frequency. who would support me, but keep me down - not because he would do anything wrong. not at all.
but because he is incapable of lifting me up. not in a way that makes me feel i could fly. that inspires my mind.
his 110% would not meet my needs. and I would feel too grateful for the needs he would be meeting to leave.
we've lived this story before.

i wish him nothing but the best. he showed me who i am. and how safe and secure i feel around a man who truly sees me and is able to meet me where i'm at.